Sane
by Krisdaughter of Athena
Summary: Post-Legacy. When Paige is separated from Beck, she begins to wonder how her life will continue. Song is Sane by For King and Country, which I do not own, fyi.


**Sane**

**I AM SO SORRY! My computer was being stupid last night. Here's what I meant to put:**

**Hey guys, I'm back with more oneshots, another RenePaige, but this is really sad, like post-Legacy sad.  
This oneshot is in _memory _of a great Christain I knew named Wyatt Carter. He died yesterday, 4/25/14 in a car crash and it's really heartbreaking because he was going to change the world. So, I've been sitting here, listening to this over and over when I had an idea. So here. If you think I'm some bad person for doing this, well I'm sorry. Writing is my coping mechanism.  
-**

Paige looks down at the steel floor as people, _survivors_, talk around her.

_They're all wanting the same thing, just different ways._

"What's your name?"

She looks up to a program in white and she clutches the cloak tighter around her, "Paige."

Her smile lights up her face, and thankfully, no recognition rises.

"Hello Paige, what are you looking for?"

Paige looks down, "I'm looking for a friend. I lost him in the chaos."

Her face becomes somber, "Follow me."

Paige stands and follows the program as multiple programs look to her.

"Well," she starts, sitting at a desk in another room as Paige sits across from her, "Who are you looking for?"

Paige fixes the folds on her cloak, making sure her circuits don't show, "His name is Beck."

"Description?"

"Brown hair, brown eyes, blue circuits."

"Relation?"

_…_

"Umm…boyfriend, partner…."

"Can I see your circuits?"

_No!_

But the program's gaze causes her to open the cloak to show her blue circiuts with the T in the middle of her chest.

The program gasps, "You're looking for the Renegade?"

"Yes." Paige pleads, "Please, have you found anything about him?"

The program stands, walks over to the shelf, and pulls out a file. After reading through it, she sits back down, grim expression visible.

"I'm sorry. I'm afraid the program you're looking for has been pronounced dead."

_No! No…._

Paige sits in shock, "No..you're lying. He can't be dead."

She pushes the file forward, "I'm sorry. I'll let you read the file and give you some time alone."

The program leaves the room and Paige quietly picks up the folder to see the program had been truthful.

_No…_

Standing quietly, she leaves quickly and doesn't slow down until she slams the door behind her in an empty room. She slides down and sits against the wall, looking again at the folder she stole.

_Beck, aka Renegade_

_Status: derezzed._

**Black hole in a broken heart**

Paige bites her lip, telling herself it can't be true, but her heart knows it is.

_No no no no no…._

_After all we've survived together…he can't just be gone._

**Took your innocence and left a scar**

She lets out a dry sob and bends down.

**Crossed lines and crushed your world**

**And tore your soul in two**

The folder drops from her hands and slides across the floor. The tears fall down her face for the first time since before she found out he was the Renegade. She hears someone knock on the door, but she ignores it.

**Too young to knock your door**

The person stops, leaving her alone again.**  
Trapped in this uncivil war  
**_Why did the war have to end like this?_

_Beck jogs ahead of her, leading through the labrinth of the throne ship. The Creator, Son of Flynn, and ISO had long left the ship, but Rinzler had stayed around for a while. For the longest time, the broken purring of the Enforcer had followed them, leaving the two fighters on edge for their former ally. Finally, he was gone. But one program remained._

_They were almost to the exit when a program jumped in front of them, eyes mad in blood-lust and a bomb in his hand._

_"Pavel." Beck growls, standing in front of Paige._

_"Renegade! Paige! What a pleasant surprise! Just in time for your death." He lunges forward but Beck knocks Paige back as he dodges. _

_"Oh no, Beck. Just because he's an Occupation soldier doesn't mean he's yours. He's actually mine."_

_She lunges forward and socks Pavel in the jaw, knocking him back. He clutches it but pulls away as Paige lands on top of him, breathing hard in anger as her disc sits next to his neck._

_He grins despite his danger, "You're not going to kill me are you?"_

_"You killed Tesler and millions of programs. You deserve to die."_

_"I thought you had said you weren't like me, but I guess you are!" He laughs madly._

He's right…

_Shaking her head, she pulls away her disc and stands up, "You're right. I'm _not _like you."_

_She turns and begins to walk away._

_"PAIGE LOOK OUT!"_

_Paige turns as a flash of white crosses in front of her and the Renegade stands in front of her, a bomb now strapped to his chest._

_She gasps, "Beck!" _

_She jumps in front of him and tries to pull the bomb off him._

_"Paige stop!"_

_She looks up to him, "No, we're going to get out of this, we will!"_

_"I know. It just won't be together."_

_Before she realizes what happened, she falls out of the ship by a push, a parachute on her back suddenly. She turns back to the chopper as she hears a whisper of yell from Beck before the chopper. The force hits her and she slams into the ground, unconcious as another explosion rumbeled not far away._

Paige shakes her head at the memory.

"I-It's my f-fault." She sobs softly

**Too much to comprehend  
What this could make of you**

Unable to speak anymore, she clutches her knees to her chest and falls into silence.

_I don't where I am._

That's the first thing he thinks of.

The program doesn't understand why he's on a bed, or why his suit is white, or that something lay in pieces on the floor nearby.

_Who__

_What__

"Easy there."

He turns to see a female program sit next to him, her circuits green.

"W-Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. We found you in the Outlands after the explosion."

"W-What explosion? What happened?"

His mind begins to fly and immediately aches. His hand shoots up to his temples and the medic whispers, "Rest."

Against his will, his eyes close and he drifts back into unconciousness.

**Let it echo  
Is it waiting  
To determine what will become?**

The next cycle, Paige stands and begins to search the streets for a job.

Her renegade suit gone, she abandons the cloak as she nervously walks into a shop where a cream-haired program sits at the register sits, looking rather bored with his job.

He looks up when he notices Paige, "Hello. How may I help you?"

"Are you currently accepting employees?"

He thinks about it for a moment, "Actually, we are. You here for a job?"

She nods, "I have experience."

"No need. Just need your name."

"Paige. My name is Paige."

He nods, "Well welcome, Paige. My name is Joel. You ready to start?"

She nods, and he leads her to the back room where the lockers are.

"This is the locker room. Feel free to take as much time as you need to get ready."

With that Joel leaves her and goes back to the front of the shop.

Paige quietly walks over to the uniform area and picks out before sitting on the bench.

_I really thought I wouldn't be doing this, but I can't mope forever, can I?_

_Besides, Beck would've wanted this._

At the thougt of him, she feels tears threaten to flow.

_Who am I kidding? I can't do this. I don't even know if I can take life anymore!_

_What will I become?_

**You will be sane  
You will be free  
This won't decide who you're gonna be  
You will be safe  
You will be new  
The cycle will break  
The future will change  
And you will be sane**

The program walks out into the street after cycles of being the hospital with 'Kayla' as she called herself. He was finally deemed free to leave, despite the fact that she said he had something bad.

_What was it?_

_Oh yes, memory loss._

Apparently, whatever had happened before they found him knocked away his memory and he has to find his way around again.

But he doesn't understand how he could forget everything, including his own name, with the dreams he had.

You see, everytime he slept, he felt a hand caress his cheek and hear a female voice call him in laughter and affection. _In love._

Since the first night he had them, he hasn't told anyone, not even Kayla. He doesn't understand why it happens, but he doesn't want anyone to know.

He runs into someone, he yells roughly at him, causing him to flinch. But he hears teasing laughter and he looks around. He sees no one, but he knows it's the voice from his dreams, now approaching his waking moments.

_Maybe I should tell Kayla…_

_And lose the only idea I have? No thanks._

He walks by the hospital and he sees Kayla wave at him. He waves back, but feels guilt rack him.

_I don't want to tell!_

**Scared that your secret might come out**

That's what she thinks as she pulls her hair back for her shift. After this much time, it's gotten obvious that Joel likes her, but she doesn't want to tell him about or that she doesn't feel the same. He might get angry enough to fire her.**  
And you're gonna lose the life you got now**

Sighing, she drops her hands to her side.

_Can't tell him, I'm finally getting a stable home after so long._**  
Caught in a loop and it winds you back  
But anything can change**

"Paige!"

She turns to see Joel is waiting for her.

"Coming!"

She comes to the front counter and Joel follows her, silent for a moment. She feels her cheeks burning when he finally speaks.

"So Paige…got any free time?"

"Not today, sorry." She says quickly before visiting the customer she has.

He watches her, as if he knows.

She grits her teeth, _My excuses won't last forever._

But she pushes it out of her mind, and settles into her work.

_Paige._

_That's her name._

After a couple visits with Kayla, he finds out his name is Beck.

After a couple more dreams, he finds the girl's name is Paige.

_And she's alive. Should I try to find her?_

_What if she doesn't know me?_

**Take a chance now**

He shakes his head, _don't think that way. Just try._

**Cause it's waiting**

**Share the truth now**

**A new day will come, yeah **

His mind made up, he walks down the street, thinking of how to find her.

_What will I do? How will this turn out? What will it be if she doesn't actually exist?_

**You will be sane  
You will be free  
This won't decide who you're gonna be  
You will be safe  
You will be new  
The cycle will break  
The future will change  
And you will be sane**

He shakes it away and goes down the street to Kayla, finally going to tell her.

Paige runs into the shop, realizing she had lost track of time and is now late.

"I'm sorry Joel, I lost track of tim_"

She stops, though, when she sees the shop is empty. She looks back to see it's closed, but she was able to get in.

_How?_

"Paige."

She turns back around to see Joel walk towards her, his hair combed and flowers in his hands.

"Oh…hello Joel."

"Paige, I have something to tell you."

She stays silent and waits for him to speak.

"I…love you. Will you go out with me?"

He holds out the flowers to her.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't."

He looks up, "Pardon?"

"I just can't."

"Why?"

She looks down, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, it will help."

"I know. It's just painful."

"I just want to know why!"

"I realize that and_"

"WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?"

"Joel_"

"JUST TELL ME!"

"I don't_"

"WHY?"

"BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND IS DEAD!" She screams at him.

He steps back, shocked. Biting her lip, Paige turns and runs out the door, tears running down her cheeks.

**Scream it out loud  
And watch all of the pieces crumble down  
Oh yeah  
Consign it to me now  
Cause darling that's how freedom can be found**

"PAIGE!"

She ignores him as she runs down the street, past strangers and familiar people alike.

Beck walks down the street, asking girls their name and turning away, disapointed, when their name isn't Paige.

_How will I find her? I must be going insane!_

**And you will be sane  
You will be free  
And this won't decide who you're gonna be**

Paige feels the tears full-out fall as she runs away from the voices and stares/**  
You will be safe  
You will be new  
The cycle will break  
The future will change  
And you will be sane  
**_Why why WHY?_

**You're sane**

She runs into someone and without even thinking, presses her face into the stranger's broad chest.

**You will be sane**

Beck looks down in shock as someone latches onto his mid-section and looks down to see a female is crying into his chest.

_I know her…_

The memories flash back.

_PaigePaigePaigePaigePaige, it's her!_

He struggles to say her name, "…Paige."

**You're sane**

She looks up at her name and meets a pair of brown eyes she thought she'd never see again.

"Beck…"

His eyes flash and she smiles in her tears.

"You're alive." She sobs.

He doesn't say anything, but pulls her close.

"I know." He says quietly.

She smiles as they share their reuniting together.

_Sane, at last._

**You will be sane**

**_Fin_**


End file.
